Staff Devar Torah – Vayishlach 5778 – by Rabbi Ari Deutscher

Ari Deutscher — Sat, 02 Dec 2017 16:25:57 +0000

The Parsha of Dina is hard, both to read and understand. Dina was perhaps the first Jewish teen to “Go hang out in the Park” or “Go for a Shabbos walk”. Like the Torah says, she was just curious to see what is out there, and unfortunately fell into tragedy.

What is important though is how the matter was dealt with. Leaving aside what Shimon and Levi actually did, which Yaakov disagreed with, form the beginning, this was dealt with as a family matter, not isolated to Dina. Yaakov waited for the Brothers to arrive before speaking with Chamor. The Brothers, the chumash says, were not only disturbed by what happened, but also that “such a thing is not done to Bnei Yisroel”.

Kids have struggles, and often we are frightened about the influence they could have on siblings while going through that struggle. Still, it is important to make sure that the child does not feel that they are struggling alone, that they are part of a family that they are responsible to and is in turn responsible for them. In this way Shimon coxed Dina out of Shechem, and though chastised by Yaakov for what they did, ultimately Yaakov was silent (implying agreement) when Shimon and Levi related that they could not stand by and do nothing for their sister.

The mentioning of Devorah the wet-nurse of Rivkah, who dies in this week’s parsha, seems superfluous. The mefarshim discuss what she was doing there and what her death implies to Yaakov, however it does not discuss her directly. What do we know about her? We know that Devorah was very close with raising Rivka, and that, being of such a young age when she left to marry Yitzchak, Devorah accompanied her to continue to care for her. Chazal often tell us to look at a name to understand a person’s essence. What does “Devora HaMenika” teach us about her? Devorah, the bee which produces honey, and Menika (wet-nurse) involving milk. Chalav U’Dvash. The Gemara tells us that both of these substances have characteristics of being pure substances derived from impure sources (milk form blood, honey from bees). Perhaps this was Devorahs specialy, finding the good in the bad, developing purity and holiness in a place of tumah, as Rivkah, born in a family steeped in Avodah Zara and immorality developed into one of the Imahot. Devorah was there too with Yaakov as he raised his children, the Shevatim who would become Am Yisroel, in Galus, in the house of Lavan. Looking at it now, the death of Devorah must have been very significant for Yaakov and all his family. Likewise, there was a very important connection between Devorah and Rivkah, so that it is no surprise that her death is correlated with Rivkah’s. We owe more to Devorah than we realized, as she was responsible for the education of both Rivka and the shevatim and perhaps was responsible for cultivating Klal Yisroel in that difficult place into an Am. As educators, we must be disciples of Devorah, seeing the purity in every child no matter their background and surroundings. We must see past the Tumah surrounding them threatening to engulf them and see the seeds of Kedusha inside them, thirsy and ready to grow.

Have a great Shabbos,

Ari Deutscher MSW
Menahel

Staff Dvar Torah – Vayishlach – Rabbi Ari Deutscher

Ari Deutscher — Fri, 16 Dec 2016 13:03:28 +0000

When Eisav finally arrives before Yaakov after being told that he is coming with 400 soldiers and prepared for war, Eisav becomes emotional and embraces Yaakov. He then asks Yaakov who all these “messengers” that he sent were and what was their purpose. Yaakov answered so he (Yaakov) “would find favor in Eisavs eyes”. Rashi comments that these messengers were Malachim who would ask Eisav and his followers who they were and when they said “Eisav and his men” the angels would hit them. They then would say “the son of Yitzchak and his men” and the “the grandson of Avraham and his men” but would still get hit. Only when they said “the brother of Yaakov and his men” did the angels leave them alone and show them respect.

The Sifsei Chachamim asks, if according to Rashi the angels came and hit Eisav and his men, how did this “bring favor to Yaakov in the eyes of Eisav? He answers that by Eisav seeing how much Yaakov is beloved by so many others, he was forced to reevaluate his perception of Yaakov and the way he judged him. Ultimately this brought him to love and embrace Yaakov.

Most teens today suffer from low self-esteem, confidence and self-worth. They feel incapable, ‘Ein Li Koach” or “I cant be bothered”. Because they have learned little academically, emotionally, and have little experience (and therefore few real accomplishments) they are confused and don’t really know themselves. These feelings are often the roots of what is holding a teen back and informs his behavior and decisions. We see in this weeks parsha that by showing them that they are beloved, making them FEEL loved, we can change their perception of themselves and ultimately come to love themselves as well. Once a child loves himself he will care about himself, his behavior, what others think of him, and his overall growth and success. Often there are people in a teens life who don’t believe in them. When those people see that we believe in this child and love them, it has an effect as well, and the feeling spreads to others that this is a child who can achieve and is worth the effort. In my experience, how much a teacher, madrich, instructor etc. feels their parents care about their kid and believe in them also effects how they perceive them. Lets all of us, parents and teachers, make sure the teens in our life don’t just know we love and believe in them but feel it as well.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Ari Deutscher MSW
Menahel

וישלח – Nefesh Hatalmid

Staff Devar Torah – Vayishlach 5778 – by Rabbi Ari Deutscher

Staff Dvar Torah – Vayishlach – Rabbi Ari Deutscher